The Monster Under The Bed
by black eyed dog
Summary: Based around the first flashback from 'Outlaws', this is a fictional interpretation of James's experience of the night his Father confronts his Mother.


The Monster Under The Bed.

James had been dreaming. He'd always remember it as it was the last dream he'd ever believed in.

It was a great dream. James was a superhero. The bravest, strongest superhero there had ever been. He was just about to save the world from a scary monster when he had woken up that night. His Momma thought she had woken him, but he was only pretending to be asleep really by then, because the shouting had woken him a while earlier. It scared him. He'd heard his Dad angry before, but never angry like this. James thought if he kept his eyes shut, maybe it would go away. As long as he kept his eyes closed it wasn't real. Maybe it was another dream. This one wasn't as good though. He wanted the superhero one back. If he tried hard enough, maybe it would come back.

Much more frightening than hearing his dad though, was seeing his Momma afraid. James had never seen his Momma scared before. How could she be? She was his Momma. She knew the answers to everything in the world. Sometimes you had to be a big boy and not be frightened, but James knew that he could always go to his Momma if he got scared and she would make everything alright again every time. It was hard to concentrate on what his Momma was saying, because James kept hearing the angry shouting, but James knew his Momma would keep him safe. He trusted her.

Momma was telling him to get under the bed and James didn't really want to do that. He knew big boys didn't believe there were monsters under the bed any more, but he still didn't want to be there very much in the night, because if there were monsters (which of course there weren't), that was when they would be lurking. But James would be brave for his Momma. She told him that she loved him and he hugged her back. James closed his eyes thinking maybe his Momma would just lift him back to bed now, say something to make him smile, and kiss away the nightmare, but she didn't. "I love you too, Momma," he said. He was still waiting for her to say something to reassure him. Maybe his Momma was afraid and he should be the one to make her feel better. When she came back he would tell her about his dream and that would cheer her up if she was sad.

But as James moved to the back of the bed, he heard shouting and arguing and his Momma sounded very frightened now. He hated hearing his Momma sound afraid. He wished he couldn't hear it. He'd been stupid just lying awake thinking about his dream before. He should have spent that time working out how to help his Momma and instead he'd just lain there, acting like he was a silly kid playing pretend games.

There was a bang like thunder and then everything went oddly quiet. James couldn't hear his Momma anymore. Had he made her silent because he'd wished not to hear her? The few seconds of eerie calm dragged out like hours. Now that she wasn't shouting, all James wanted was to hear her voice.

And then James saw his Daddy's cowboy boots in his doorway. He could tell his Daddy was looking round the room. He was looking round the room for James. He moved towards the bed, and James shuffled back, closer to the wall involuntarily. His Daddy knew where he was. He must have heard him. Was he still angry? James heard another bang and something heavy fell on the bed, making the springs sag above his head. James couldn't move. He stayed right where he was against the wall. His Momma had told him not to move no matter what.

James didn't know how long he stayed like that with his back pressed against the wall. It seemed like forever, but it couldn't have been long, because quite soon something warm and wet dripped down onto his head. James jumped and he knew he had given himself away. It felt like slime from a monster. Warm and sticky. And he could smell it.

James scuttled out of his hiding place, his hands scrabbling at his head to get whatever it was away. His Daddy was still sitting on the bed and his legs were in the way, so he went out of the bottom end of the bed, ready to face the monster like he had done in his dream. He would be a brave boy for his Momma.

But when he righted himself and looked at the bed, James saw that his Daddy wasn't sitting there. Something was lying there, just like James had been when he was dreaming his dream. It had been a trick and the monster had stolen his Daddy's shoes to make him think he was his Daddy, but this wasn't James's Daddy. This was the monster. James knew this because he had no head.

The monster was very still, but James knew that that was just because he was lying in wait and trying to trick him. James knew he had to be brave. His Daddy had told him that it was no good spending all his time reading books – he had to know how to fight like a real man too. So he would fight the monster and save his Momma and his Daddy.

James took a big breath to make himself braver and shouted "RAAAAAAARRRRRR" as he ran and jumped onto the bed to fight the monster with his bare hands. But the monster didn't move. It stayed still as if it wasn't alive. And then, as James's hand reached to where the monster didn't have any head, it got covered in the monster slime again. He recoiled in horror. Now, he looked around him and he could see that the slime was on the walls too. And suddenly James realised that this was what killed people – this slime. And he was going to die now. The monster's trick had worked.

Terrified, James ran to the wall and turned on the light, a bit ashamed that he hadn't been brave enough to battle on in the dark. And then he saw that the light switch was red, and his hands were red, and it wasn't monster slime on his hands at all - it was blood. And he looked around his room. He always kept it tidy because he was a good boy. But now it wasn't tidy, because the wall beside his bed was messily covered in red too.

And now James knew that it wasn't a monster on the bed at all. It really was his Daddy. But his Daddy didn't have a head anymore and James couldn't understand how or why and why his head had gone into James's own pillow. If James had still been asleep now, his head would be like that on his pillow. James stood there for a long time, transfixed by the scene. It didn't seem real and suddenly James realised he hadn't woken up at all and this was all a nightmare.

James knew that you had to wake yourself up to get nightmares to stop, so he walked calmly to his desk, picked up his compass and poked his arm with it. Nothing happened, so he poked a bit harder. The room was still the same so he poked really hard and it really hurt and still nothing changed. When James saw the tiny spot of his own blood trickle from the mark the compass ha left, he knew that even though it didn't seem real, he was not asleep. And then James was very scared and confused. But he forgot that his hands had blood on them and he didn't look back at his bed. He ran out of his room because he remembered he had to protect his Momma.

James didn't have to go far to see his Momma because she was right there outside his door. She was covered in blood too. And she was very white and looked like she was asleep.

James went over to his Momma to wake her up. He whispered into her ear "Wake up Momma," but she didn't wake up. So he said it a bit louder. She still didn't wake up. So he shook her a little bit, but she still stayed asleep. For a moment it crossed James's mind that his Momma might be playing 'sleeping lions' and he wondered whether he should try to tickle Momma to wake her up. The thought nearly made him laugh. But James had seen too much tonight to really believe that his Momma could be playing.

Then James remembered that when he'd been playing outside last spring, he'd found a hurt bunny rabbit, all covered in blood. He'd picked it up and his Daddy had been disgusted that he'd brought it to the house. Daddy said that someone had probably been out hunting up here and had shot that bunny for their dinner, and now James had stolen someone's dinner and that was very wrong. But the bunny rabbit had still been alive and he and his Momma had cleaned it with water and put bandages on the bunny rabbit and then it had woken up and James had been happy. He had thought that he had saved the bunny rabbit and it made him feel good.

So now James knew his Momma was hurt like the bunny rabbit had been. He ran into the kitchen and filled a cup with water and he brought back some tea towels. He wished he could open the medicine cabinet where his Momma got things to put on James's grazes if he hurt himself, but it was kept locked and James didn't know where the key was. James poured the water on his Momma's chest and covered it with tea towels. And he said "You're OK Momma" because that's what his Momma would say to him if he got hurt or sick. But the tea towels went red very quickly and when James touched his Momma's head it was very cold. James didn't know what else he should do.

The bunny that James had tried to save last winter had died in the end. James's had dug a hole and buried him in the garden and his Daddy had made fun of him and told him it served him right for being so stupid and that James had just made the bunny suffer for longer by bringing him home and not letting him die right away.

Suddenly James was scared that his Momma wasn't going to wake up again and he didn't feel brave at all anymore. But he didn't want to believe it so he shook her and pleaded with her to wake up and tell him a story because he was scared. And then James thought how he had been going to tell his Momma about his superhero dream and it made him angry. He was no superhero. He hadn't even been able to protect his own Momma. And James started to cry. And then he shouted and shouted at his Momma to wake up until he couldn't shout anymore and he was just crying and tired.

When he had no more anger left and couldn't cry anymore, gradually, James became very quiet and very still. He was a clever boy and he knew what had really happened. That was when he knew he would not believe in monsters and fairytales and superheroes anymore because now he knew they were not real. Maybe if he hadn't been thinking about his fairytale of a dream his Momma would still be OK now because he could have woken up sooner and protected her like a man should.

James now knew his Momma wasn't going to wake up again because she was dead like the bunny rabbit had been. And James knew he had to bury her like he had his bunny rabbit. So, very calmly, James tried to move his Momma. He tried and tried for a very long time. But he could not move his Momma because he was not big or strong enough. He felt angry again, but at last he stopped trying and sat down. James really wanted to cry again, but he didn't let himself because he wasn't a stupid kid anymore, he was a man. And he knew men didn't cry. His Daddy had told him that. So James wasn't going to cry ever again.

They found little James Ford four days later. His teacher had become concerned when he hadn't been in class for two days, and the school had been unable to contact Mrs Ford. Though the Ford's lived up in the hills, far away from any neighours, it was unusual not to be able to get hold of them by telephone, and even rarer that James would not be in class for so long, as he loved school and never missed a day.

The policemen found James lying next to his Mother. Unable to take his Mother outside to bury her, James had known he'd have to bring the earth to her. But despite his best efforts to be courageous, James was still afraid there might be a monster outside the house waiting for him. And he couldn't bear to move far away from his Momma still. So he had gathered all the plant pots from in the house and emptied them out. Pots, plants and flowers lay scattered around the scene like dying sacrifices. James had covered his Momma carefully with a thin layer of earth. Except for her face. James could not bring himself to cover his Momma's face. He felt nothing while he did this. James just knew it was what he should do.

And after James had buried his Mother, he used the rest of the soil to cover himself as best he could. Then James lay as still as he could and thought of nothing at all. He hoped that this would mean he too would never wake again.

Now he was ready for the monster to take him away.


End file.
